After your first date, the next couple of dates are all about getting to know each other better, having fun with one another, and becoming comfortable being yourselves around each other. You both have gotten past the first date and came away wanting to see each other again, so you obviously did and said the right things and she’s interested in getting to know you more.
Now, let’s work on keeping that interest she has in you and make this great start turn into something special. We’ll go over everything for you to keep in mind or know during this time and also help you towards having a positive and great start to a relationship with her.
Getting to Know Her
The key thing early on in dating is getting to know each other little by little and having a great time with one another. This is usually when you get to know the little things about her to get a sense of who she is and what she’s all about. You’ll both learn a lot about each other through conversations you’ll have and it’ll give you a small sense of whether or not you’re both compatible with each other or not.
Try not to over analyze anything in the beginning too much though. She may be a little nervous at first and more than likely, the same will go for you. As you start to get comfortable, you’ll both start seeing the real person come out and you will each get a better sense of who each other truly is.
In the beginning of your relationship, try keeping your conversations on a more positive note and try staying away from “spilling” too much negative information out. Talking about a rough day at work is ok but stay clear from saying how much you hate your job and wish you could kill your boss. Instead, make it an interesting or funny conversation of how “crazy” your boss is. If she asks about your past relationships, instead of choosing to rightfully bash your Ex’s, just say it didn’t work out for whatever reasons but you’re glad you met them because it gave you a better sense of what it is you want or looking for in a woman. I’m pretty sure if you say that, the “Ex” conversation stops right there, and the conversation goes into what it is you want in a women or are looking for.
Other than that, let the conversations fly and really listen to her stories, gossip, or anything that comes out of her lips. You’ll be able to go off her stories or anything she tells you and share your own similar stories or even use some of her gossip as a conversation piece where you’ll ask for an update the next time you see her. It’ll show her that not only did you listen to her stories but you’re taking an interest in her life too.
Just remember, have fun with her, talk to her, show her you’re interested in her by calling her or sending a small text message from time to time (not all the time) to let her know you got her in mind, and be honest and real to yourself. Do what you feel is right and follow your gut instincts.
Going Out / Taking Her Out On Dates
In the early stages of dating someone, you’ll want the first few dates to be as fun and as casual as possible. This is the time you can do the all the normal things while throwing in some surprises here and there. Things like dinner at either of your favorite restaurants with a round of miniature golf. Then maybe the next time you hang out, go check out that movie you’re both dying to see or make plans to go to a museum while taking a walk in the city.
There are so many different ideas and choices to choose from, that there’s no reason for you to do the same things each time you see each other in the beginning. Unless she states she really wants to do the same thing you guys did on a previous night out, go for it, but otherwise, try to come up with different ideas each time you hangout with each other.
Keep in mind that the main goal with going out on dates in the first few months is just to be outgoing & fun. I’m sure they’ll be times were you’ll both just want to stay in, order take out, and watch some TV or DVD’s which is perfectly fine and recommended. Just be sure you’re both happy and content with that, but try to do something different every once in a while away from home.
(See our “Ideas” section for different Dating Ideas and Places to Go)
Being a Gentleman
It’s the little things that make guys stand out from other typical guys. Start holding doors open for women that are a few feet behind you at any store, let them go inside first, and watch how many times you get a beautiful smile, a “wow”, or a nice compliment on how “Gentlemen still exist” or a “Thank You”.
It’s these little things that are so small, that almost seem meaningless, and takes about nothing to do that makes all the difference between a man and a Gentleman. Hold the door open for your date, pull her chair out, open the car door for her to get in, and help her with anything without waiting for her to ask you for help.
If she’s out shopping with you, hold some of her bags (not her purse fellas) or if it’s raining outside, offer to go get the car on your own and pick her up in front of the place you’re at so that she doesn’t have to get wet. These little courtesy things can go a long way in showing her that she means something to you and will also make her feel special.
Just make sure that after you’re in a committed relationship, the new gentleman in you doesn’t go away or disappear and is part of the new you.
Showing Affection
Be careful not to be too affectionate early on. Holding her hand after a couple of dates is fine but if on the first date you’re trying to swing hands while walking, you might freak her out a little bit. Instead leave your arm open and extended and ask her to hold on to your arm while you walk. It’s not as intimate as holding hands but it’s a sweet gesture that’ll make her smile and keep her close to you.
After a few dates and she’s more comfortable with you, hold her hands anytime you’re walking somewhere. If you feel like giving her a kiss at anytime, stop her wherever you are and gently move her chin towards yours and go for it.
Showing affection is up to you and what you feel. Don’t try and calculate it or pinpoint the right time to do it. Just do it when it feels right or when you just can’t help it. Just don’t over do it, especially if the girl you’re with isn’t into all that affection just yet. Some girls love it and some don’t. Just read her reaction (facial expressions or what she says) to what you do and you’ll get a sense of how she feels about it.
That First Kiss
I’ll be the first guy to admit it, this is something we think about and worry about. Is it too soon, will she turn me down, or how long should I wait before I try and kiss her? All these questions and more are running through our minds the minute we meet up and think she’s hot on our first date. But truth be told, it’s on their mind too.
While there is no exact science or right time for it, it’s all in the moment and how you both feel. Some people have a strict “no kissing on the first date” rule while others play it cool and just wait for the moment to “feel right”. There’s no right or wrong on this as long as you both want the kiss and it’s done right.
You’ll want to keep that first kiss sweet and innocent. The first kiss shouldn’t be a tongue wrestling match, or a make out session in a booth at Friday’s. Keep it gentleman like. Maybe as you’re walking some place, stop her and tell her you’ve been wanting to do something for a long time and go for it, or what most people do is wait for the end of the night when you’re dropping her back home, or you’re parting ways for the night.
If I had to choose the right time for the first kiss, I would suggest to try and go for it on the second date while you’re in between places or after your date. The reason being that if you’re on a second date, chances are she likes you because, hello, you’re on a second date. Another reason is, if you kiss on the first date, you might give off the impression that you kiss anybody before getting to know them. So best bet, go for that kiss on the second date. If not, definitely on the third date while on your way to the second part of the date, or as you’re leaving each other for the night.
